Life is ups, and downs, and ups, and downs. It's storms and rains, and sun, then pain. It's funny because I had always been naturally a positive person, but also attracted a lot of negativity and toxicity into my life for a long time. Then I understood, through patience and faith that gratitude and self-love were key. I was always told (by friends way wiser than me) - "Wissame you're being ungrateful, you're being impatient, you're being impulsive," and I, in complete denial would take it so personally... What? Me impatient? I am soooo patient. Sooo patient that if someone didn't answer my text back after an hour, I start questioning if I did something wrong, was I being too clingy, too needy, and going into a never ending spiral of negative guilt tripping.
I only recently understood how ungrateful I had been this entire time.
I do not have the answers as to why we are being tested at different times of our life. Just like I don't know why it's raining in the middle of July in London. Just like I don't know why we have voices in our heads that make us believe that we are not good enough.
What I do know though, or rather what I have learned - is that through faith and patience, things come together and it may come quickly or may take time, but through acceptance and calm... everything gets easier - and truly, it's hard to keep up with this mindset every single day.
So when you go through something, and in your mind you are questioning "Oh, why, why is this happening to ME?" Remember that life is not about YOU, it never was and never will be. Yes, you do come into this world alone, and leave it on your own, at your own time. But know, that life is a collective experience and you learn and teach, you give and take, you feel and make others feel. We are all in this together, and on days that you feel like you can't take anymore... Remember to breathe and most importantly count. your. ble-ssings. Please.
Remember that in this very moment someone is being told that their life is cut short by a terminal disease, a child is probably getting raped right this second and not understanding what is happening to them, a person is getting shot dead and robbed from their life, a mother is probably burying her child today, somewhere around the world, someone right now is having it way worse than you. Yet still, they keep the belief that at some point they will smile again, they will laugh again and feel alive again.
So be grateful for your lungs that are working, for the fact that you have a device on which you can read this blog post, and that you are even able to read in the first place. We are so used to getting things so quickly that we have forgotten what patience should feel like, and it should not feel like two days, or two months, it should feel like we are accepting of whatever the outcome is and it will come whenever it shall come.
Have faith in a power exponentially bigger than yourself, the same way you water a plant and allow it to magically grow. Water your thoughts with hope and positivity and put it all on the side then watch yourself suddenly grow.
Granted, some days, you don't want to say thank you, the same way some days the world feels like swallowing a whole city through an earthquake, but the power of acceptance makes it so the town will be rebuilt and new memories will replace the old bad ones.
All I am saying is smile, even if you feel like there is no reasons too... and before you know it, you'll be attracting all the things you've been praying for. Be patient. Don't wait. Just be patient. Ask. Put it on the side. Continue to do the things you can do to better yourself and trust the magic of thankfulness. Things get better. I promise.
Love always, all ways,